Friday, July 2, 2010

A little piece of mind

I was about to use the word superstition but now after looking into it I realize I'd rather drop it from my vocabulary. Something interesting happened the other day. One way to look at it is as a mere coincidence, another is as synchronicity. Whatever it was, it happened. After a long night of indulging in some mind-bending hallucinatory confrontations, shadowboxing... singing and internal dialogue directed towards internal and external forces (which may all end up being the same thing), major realizations...moments of awe and terror.... I finally fell asleep at around noon. Later on I realized my computer had crashed (one of the reasons I'm not uploading any new work) and any movie that I put on my DVD player has a greenish tint. If there's any object that's red on the screen, it looks extremely saturated and displays a checkerboard pattern moving at high speeds. On that night it became very clear to me how much material posessions weigh me down. All this stuff/crap sorrounding me is a reflection of how cluttered my mind is. Clarity seems like the ultimate unreachable goal. I seem to be really fond of playing the game where I focus on one piece of junk so I can forget at least for a moment about another piece of junk and so on. I am very thankful that at least for a brief moment I've been able to have the awareness of life without our usual attachments. For a brief moment, we can see the games we play for what they are....GAMES. Games we've managed to adopt without realizing the toll they take on our human potential. "That's just the way things have always been and you can't change it!"...there goes that annoying voice as old as death itself. 1:11 If that voice could be embodied in a lil man spewing poison out of his mouth my initial reaction would be to strangle him. But perhaps I should bathe him in rose water and assure him it's going to be ok. The voice of reason told me a couple of times that all I ever needed I already had. I nodded and then did my best to ignore her. The trickster god is an essential figure most of us in this age could use a little getting acquainted with. " Eshu is a difficult teacher but a good one". You will see what you need to see. Seems like the last thing many want to do is to look inside themselves and face their shadow. Please don't make me look in the mirror, I am afraid of what I'll see. Reminders of death? Is death a taboo? Does change imply death? What the hell is death?

My hands sweat and that is always a sign. I used to be really unnerved by that but now I know how important it is for me to have that physical happens when I'm nervous or afraid, whenever I find myself facing something unfamiliar, stepping outside of my comfort zone. I wonder how severely our relationship with the unknown affects our lives. How this relationship shapes the way we move about in our environment and think. The unknown is just always there, closer than we can come to terms with. If you stare at a familiar object long enough can it become unfamiliar? We've grown so used to lying to ourselves that this is what we now base our lives upon...disguised lies. We perpetuate the violence we've been subjected to by bringing more children into this world with the hope that they will lead a happy existence and not make the same mistakes we've made. You can't fuck death away, but yet people try. If there's one common factor we should celebrate publicly is our ignorance. I think this can actually change the world. Let's have a holiday, maybe twice a year where we celebrate in public our own ignorance. Children playing Monopoly with the owners of the Central Bank ( and winning!! ), Rocket scientists and yokels holding hands, holy men and rapists sharing ice cream, the homeless and heads of state slow dancing in the moonlight. It's a joyous occasion to come out of our prison cells and share the bond of ignorance. It's what makes us human!! We shall no longer hide this beautiful gift that allows us to see life in a new way!! PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!! LET'S MAKE IGNORANCE DAY HAPPEN!!!